| Frequently Asked Questions |
How do I know I will be fairly represented?
Each party is represented by attorneys who have been trained in the process,
philosophy and principals of collaborative law. The attorneys’ commitment to
each person is to facilitate communication between the partners to insure the
process is open and productive. Each attorney agrees to represent the client in
the collaborative process only and not in a courtroom setting. Each attorney
is ethically responsible to make sure that the entire settlement is fair to each
party.
What kind of information is exchanged in a collaborative divorce?
Full disclosure is required. As a part of this honest and respectful approach
to divorce, both spouses voluntarily sign an agreement to share all pertinent
information. This is the only way that a collaborative approach works. It
requires the integrity of both parties and their attorneys.
Each party is represented by attorneys who have been trained in the process,
philosophy and principals of collaborative law. The attorneys’ commitment to
each person is to facilitate communication between the partners to insure the
process is open and productive. Each attorney agrees to represent the client in
the collaborative process only and not in a courtroom setting. Each attorney
is ethically responsible to make sure that the entire settlement is fair to each
party.
What kind of information is exchanged in a collaborative divorce?
Full disclosure is required. As a part of this honest and respectful approach
to divorce, both spouses voluntarily sign an agreement to share all pertinent
information. This is the only way that a collaborative approach works. It
requires the integrity of both parties and their attorneys.
What happens if one spouse tries to gain an advantage over the other spouse?
If this does occur, the attorney representing the client who is less than fully honest is required to withdraw from
the case. For example, if a document is withheld or altered, or if a client delays progress for his/her own gain, the
attorney representing that client must end his representation of the client.
Is a collaborative divorce safe for me?
No process guarantees that all assets are disclosed. Since you know your spouse best, only you can determine
whether your spouse can navigate this process in an honest and forthcoming manner. Once you can answer
whether or not you have confidence in your spouse’s integrity, you are then able to decide if collaborative divorce is
the route for you.
Why is collaborative divorce an effective way to reach an agreement?
A collaborative divorce attorney views the other client’s attorney as a partner in a problem-solving process, as
opposed to an adversary. Instead of trying to gain the biggest portion of assets for his client, regardless of the
emotional and financial cost, collaborative attorneys do not threaten or insult the other client.
The goal of collaborative attorneys is to encourage a positive problem-solving approach that will lead to a solution
that addresses the needs of both clients, thereby decreasing future feelings of resentment and encouraging future
cooperation. As opposed to a traditional divorce practice, collaborative attorneys use creative problem solving by
pulling their clients in the same direction to solve the same set of problems. And, as we stated earlier, collaborative
divorce spends less of the financial resources that you will need in the future. When people become overly engaged
in the emotional side of divorce and fight it out in the courtroom, they tend to forget about the financial demands
that follow a divorce, thereby squandering their financial resources. It is very common for spouses to end up with
huge attorney fees following an adversarial divorce.
Why use collaborative divorce instead of mediation?
In a divorce mediation, clients negotiate with each other through a neutral third party (the mediator) who
facilitates a discussion of the issues with a goal of making an agreement. The mediator is not permitted to provide
legal advice. As with any mediation, an agreement is not mandatory. That is, either party can walk out of the
mediation at any time. Generally, there is little face-to-face interaction between the parties. The mediator relays and
negotiates proposals between each party and their attorney while they sit in different rooms. The parties may elect
not to have their attorneys present at the mediation in order to make the mediation less adversarial. If the attorneys
do not attend the mediation and a tentative agreement is made between the parties, the attorneys review the
agreement afterwards to determine if it meets their client’s needs. If the agreement is seen as inadequate, it may be
negotiated further.
In a collaborative divorce, both clients and their attorneys meet together. Each is committed to negotiating an
agreement in a cooperative way. Moreover, instead of trying to resolve all the issues at one time, a series of less time
consuming conferences are conducted on different days to focus specifically on one major issue at a time, such as
property division, income and child custody. The resulting agreement is usually more acceptable to each party
because the process is broken down into structured steps, there’s less pressure associated with each step, and there’s
a high degree of involvement by each party.
Why use collaborative divorce when many attorneys claim to settle most of their cases?
The traditional process of getting a settlement takes place under the threat of a trial. Information is not shared
freely and spouses relate to each other in an adversarial way, contributing to a non-constructive working
relationship following the divorce. With this sort of relationship, emotional damage is almost certain and future
problems are more likely to develop, regardless how thorough the settlement may appear on paper. Forging these
settlements depends on fear and intimidation, thereby bringing an almost certain future of distrust.
In contrast, the collaborative divorce process is focused on a creative, respectful, and participative problem-solving
approach. The result is a quicker, less costly, more individualized, less stressful, and a more useful transition for
each spouse. Instead of trying to erase the years spent in marriage, each client can bring closure to the past and
move into the future in a meaningful way.
If this does occur, the attorney representing the client who is less than fully honest is required to withdraw from
the case. For example, if a document is withheld or altered, or if a client delays progress for his/her own gain, the
attorney representing that client must end his representation of the client.
Is a collaborative divorce safe for me?
No process guarantees that all assets are disclosed. Since you know your spouse best, only you can determine
whether your spouse can navigate this process in an honest and forthcoming manner. Once you can answer
whether or not you have confidence in your spouse’s integrity, you are then able to decide if collaborative divorce is
the route for you.
Why is collaborative divorce an effective way to reach an agreement?
A collaborative divorce attorney views the other client’s attorney as a partner in a problem-solving process, as
opposed to an adversary. Instead of trying to gain the biggest portion of assets for his client, regardless of the
emotional and financial cost, collaborative attorneys do not threaten or insult the other client.
The goal of collaborative attorneys is to encourage a positive problem-solving approach that will lead to a solution
that addresses the needs of both clients, thereby decreasing future feelings of resentment and encouraging future
cooperation. As opposed to a traditional divorce practice, collaborative attorneys use creative problem solving by
pulling their clients in the same direction to solve the same set of problems. And, as we stated earlier, collaborative
divorce spends less of the financial resources that you will need in the future. When people become overly engaged
in the emotional side of divorce and fight it out in the courtroom, they tend to forget about the financial demands
that follow a divorce, thereby squandering their financial resources. It is very common for spouses to end up with
huge attorney fees following an adversarial divorce.
Why use collaborative divorce instead of mediation?
In a divorce mediation, clients negotiate with each other through a neutral third party (the mediator) who
facilitates a discussion of the issues with a goal of making an agreement. The mediator is not permitted to provide
legal advice. As with any mediation, an agreement is not mandatory. That is, either party can walk out of the
mediation at any time. Generally, there is little face-to-face interaction between the parties. The mediator relays and
negotiates proposals between each party and their attorney while they sit in different rooms. The parties may elect
not to have their attorneys present at the mediation in order to make the mediation less adversarial. If the attorneys
do not attend the mediation and a tentative agreement is made between the parties, the attorneys review the
agreement afterwards to determine if it meets their client’s needs. If the agreement is seen as inadequate, it may be
negotiated further.
In a collaborative divorce, both clients and their attorneys meet together. Each is committed to negotiating an
agreement in a cooperative way. Moreover, instead of trying to resolve all the issues at one time, a series of less time
consuming conferences are conducted on different days to focus specifically on one major issue at a time, such as
property division, income and child custody. The resulting agreement is usually more acceptable to each party
because the process is broken down into structured steps, there’s less pressure associated with each step, and there’s
a high degree of involvement by each party.
Why use collaborative divorce when many attorneys claim to settle most of their cases?
The traditional process of getting a settlement takes place under the threat of a trial. Information is not shared
freely and spouses relate to each other in an adversarial way, contributing to a non-constructive working
relationship following the divorce. With this sort of relationship, emotional damage is almost certain and future
problems are more likely to develop, regardless how thorough the settlement may appear on paper. Forging these
settlements depends on fear and intimidation, thereby bringing an almost certain future of distrust.
In contrast, the collaborative divorce process is focused on a creative, respectful, and participative problem-solving
approach. The result is a quicker, less costly, more individualized, less stressful, and a more useful transition for
each spouse. Instead of trying to erase the years spent in marriage, each client can bring closure to the past and
move into the future in a meaningful way.
| -Serving the Triangle Area of North Carolina- |